Some lessons from Mental Health and Wellbeing Summit

petals on the grass-Iva B.

Ireland’s first ever Mental Health & Wellbeing Summit took place in Aviva on 14th October. We had a stand on the day, alongside other organisations promoting health and wellbeing from different perspectives, mostly medical and psychological. We were the only organisation coming from a Church background with a spirituality based approach. The room we were in was spacious and well lit, very pleasant and appropriate for the day. We had time both to talk to people who came to our stand, as well as to walk around and learn from others about their work and expertise. 

The day had a variety of talks and workshops, and we were able to attend some. A workshop that stands out for me was about building resilience. It was delivered by Dr. Olivia Hurley who took lessons from elite athletes in sport and showed how they can be applied to every day situations. While we may think that athletes don’t struggle, they in fact often do, as do the rest of us. Resilience is useful no matter who we are.

Dr. Hurley explains that resilience is “the ability to persevere and overcome setbacks”. We will all face difficulties in life from time to time, and knowing how to deal with them will help us not to become too overwhelmed. Having the right tools will help us to cope. One lesson we can learn from athletes is to aim for excellence and not perfection, in other words to have the courage to be imperfect. With a lot of unwritten pressure about seeking perfection, this is a great insight.

It was emphasised many times during the day to seek out support, professional and among friends or family. Olivia Hurley suggested to approach our decisions as ‘active choices’, and not sacrifices, and to view setbacks as opportunities for growth. We probably view athletes as those who make a lot of sacrifices, but Hurley said they see it as making an active choice to achieve their aspirations. This attitude is much more healthy and produces better results. 

We heard about some struggles that people are facing regarding mental health, and learned of ways to become mentally fit and well. We also learned that self-harm is wide-spread among young adults, which we did not know. What we noticed on the day is that language and how we talk about mental health are also important. The terms used by the speakers were about being ‘mentally fit’ and ‘mentally healthy’ instead of ‘strong’, because more positive language in this area helps in maintaining mental health. It also does not create unreasonable demands on people.

This ties in well with what we do in the ministry of healing. We often speak how listening is healing in itself. Yet, in our work we add another dimension, which is God. Parishes around the country that offer prayer ministry respond to this need for people seeking support. In our presence and through our attitude we can mirror to each other that we are accepted and loved, by each other, and by God. Our initiative the Power of Presence seemed particularly relevant to what we heard on the day. We offer it as a workshop or a talk around the country for any age group, starting with teenagers. In our everyday lives, and beneath the turmoil that life sometimes brings, there is a reality of God, welcoming, loving, healing and supporting us, encouraging us to grow. In the Power of Presence we show simple ways how to tune in to God’s presence with us, in order to draw healing, support, and comfort from it. The language of ‘excellence’ resonates well with spirituality and perhaps becoming mentally fit is what we would call growing more into our true selves. 

Iva Beranek
Dr Iva Beranek is the Ministry Facilitator for the CMH: Ireland

Reconciliation is a work of healing

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Reconciliation is one of those big words that can sometimes overwhelm us and we think it is always alluding to something ‘big’, like reconciliation between the countries or groups of people, but when we unmask it we realise it is a part of our everyday reality. Simply by being human we rub off each other, not always intentionally, and relationships often need to be restored over and over again. Sometimes that is also the way we grow, through interaction with others. Most commonly reconciliation means ‘restoring broken relationships’.

While there is this external reality of befriending those around us, there is also an inner reality of befriending the estranged parts of our inner being, and when we manage to embark on this inner journey, healing comes ever-so-gradually. There is a reality of ‘interior reconciliation’, which in a way helps us integrate different facets of our existence; our strengths and weaknesses, our past, our hurts, our faith, questions, doubts, desires, everything that we are. This enables us to approach other people with more understanding and compassion.

Rev. Ruth Patterson says that “the biggest peace-making journey we will make is within ourselves”. It will entail bringing God’s love and peace to the so-called exiled parts of our inner being, to those areas where we are not at ease, where we know we lack love. Other times we will be invited to bring God’s love to the cracks that sometimes exist between us and other people, in order to heal them and to reconcile. It is almost like finding a precious nard that God put in our inner being, a healing balm of God’s presence, which we can now extend to the whole of our existence, and to those we encounter in our everyday life.

Iva Beranek
Dr Iva Beranek is the Ministry Facilitator for the CMH: Ireland

Prayer for those who are homeless

homeless Jesus statue

Oh God of mercy and compassion, 
give us grace to live life with an open heart;
to notice people as we walk around town.
Awake us to the wonder of life
hidden in those without home
who live on the streets
and often feel so alone.

Help us Jesus to be more like you,
who spoke with those in need
and asked them 
‘what can I do for you?’ 

Give us the eyes to see
that in the poor You hide
“What you do to the least of these
you do it to Me”, you said. 

When we see people seeking
a coin of love
a coin in which their
humanity is affirmed
may we not withhold
small coins
of encounter
that will plant hope,
give food for a hungry heart. 

May the power of your love
heal our society 
so that everyone can
live with dignity,
not deprived of essentials 
for life.  

Yet in the hour
that for those living on the street
is particularly dark
we pray for Your guidance and light.

Iva Beranek
Dr Iva Beranek is the Ministry Facilitator for the CMH: Ireland

Taking charge of stress

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“Somehow, we’ll find it. The balance between whom we wish to be and whom we need to be. But for now, we simply have to be satisfied with who we are.” 
(Brandon Sanderson)

Perhaps you have a balanced life, some people do, with enough rest, enough play and interaction with family and friends, healthy life-style, and a balanced working-life. You may even take time to invest in your prayer life. If that’s you, well done. Keep doing what you are doing, as it is serving you well. 

Most of us, on the other hand, will struggle with stress from time to time. Whenever we are overwhelmed in any one area of our life, it may be helpful to find ways to de-stress and do whatever will help us get out of our head at least a few times a day. We may already have things we do that are helpful in this regard, so these suggestions are only meant as pointers. Use them if they help you, leave them behind if they don’t.

“Stress management is all about taking charge: of your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems. No matter how stressful your life seems, there are steps you can take to relieve the pressure and regain control.”*  

Listen to your body

No matter what is going on in our life, our body will feel it. If you need rest, let your body tell you and try to make room for things you find relaxing. If you need friends, a listening ear, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for support. If you are not eating well, make sure to include at least a few healthy meals throughout your days. This may seem so obvious that we may take it for granted at times but looking after out bodies is as important as it is looking after our soul and our hearts. Self-care is crucial if we want to have a good quality of life.

Exercise

Exercise is as important for mental health as much as for our physical wellbeing. I personally find swimming most rewarding; if I have a lot on my mind, swimming will somehow clear my head from worrying. You, however, find whatever suits you best. Even short walks in fresh air, in the park, will do the trick.

Explore creativity 

Whether it’s writing, photography, pottery, cooking, or something else it does not really matter as long as you try to express yourself in a creative way. It is not about being perfect in something, but rather about having fun. Creativity invigorates us and opens up new possibilities. It challenges our way of thinking, in a non-threatening way. It can also help express some of the heavier emotions that are better to be carried by the paper than by yourself. 

These suggestions are not exhaustive. When we find ways to de-stress, we will gain more energy and enthusiasm for life. In turn, worries might turn into challenges, something perhaps we can even enjoy, and obstacles might prove to be new opportunities. This will come only with practice and regular effort, but eventually we may end up being creative even in how we live our life, and that would have made all the difference.   

* http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm

Iva Beranek
Dr Iva Beranek is the Ministry Facilitator for the CMH: Ireland

The light of Christ

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I was reading recently about light and shade. Light is always seen as positive and good, shade or shadows are metaphorically given a negative meaning – thought of as darkness, cold, fear and suffering. We speak, for example, of living in someone’s shadow, of life being overshadowed by some tragedy or disaster, or of facing the shadow of death. But the reality is that shade and shadows are caused not by absence of light but by its very presence. The two go hand in hand.

And our lives too are a mixture of light and darkness. You cannot have one without the other. So it is quite reasonable at a time of darkness to pray for more light – to ask for a miracle to occur. Many times indeed over the years, I have stood visiting parishioners in hospital wards and prayed that their pain and suffering would be removed – that light would come and they would be set free. Many times too, I have reasoned and pleaded with people to see from another perspective, to step out of the shade, at a time when they are entrenched in a cycle of gloom and despair.

Occasionally, in observing human situations, things do improve and we give thanks for that, but equally often, no miracle seems forthcoming and people are left to carry their often intolerable burdens – just as the woman in Luke 13 had done for 18 years. How we wish to hear those words of Christ; ‘you are set free from your ailment’ (Luke 13:12).

We heard in Isaiah, the words ‘You shall call and the Lord will answer; you shall cry for help and He will say ‘Here I am’ (Isaiah 58:9). And it is those words ‘Here I am’ that are the supreme consolation to those suffering in our world. It is his light that shines in the darkness of despair and suffering. It cannot always be that we are ‘set free from our ailment’, but it is always true that Christ, the light of the world, walks alongside us: ‘Here I am.’

There in the hospital ward, the hospice, the consultation room. 
There in the divorce court, the empty house, the disappointed dream.
There in the confusion of not knowing which way to turn next.

Isaiah says – ‘The Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your needs in parched places.’ And he went on, using the water analogy – ‘You shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters never fail.’ In other words, Christ walks with us; He fuels our resources and never leaves us – even in the blackest holes of our oppression and depression – ‘Here I am.’

Bishop Patrick Rooke.
Taken from a sermon during CMH:I Annual Thanksgiving Service in April 2016

Breathing in God

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In the beginning of time, “the Spirit of God was moving over the surface” of the earth (Genesis 1:2), as if blessing everything God was going to create, even before it came into being. God’s breath, ‘Ruah’, which is another word for the Spirit, is creative. God creates as He breathes; He creates life, He creates beauty. He also created you and me.  

When we focus on our breath, the simple act of breathing, we instantly come in touch with the Spirit of God that is within us. Breathing consciously takes us out of our heads and brings un into the present moment, which can especially be valuable if we are dealing with a situation that is making us feel anxious. This simple spiritual practice helps us be grounded in the present moment. It puts us in touch with the centre of our being where we find peace, a place undisturbed by thought and emotion. That is a place where God dwells.

Try and spend a few minutes by simply focusing on your breath. Sit comfortably, with your feet touching the ground reminding you of the connectedness with everything around you. Initially just notice your breathing, but don’t control it. Then, breath in a deep breath, knowing that you are breathing in God’s love. Breath out anything that is occupying your mind at this time, and then breath in God’s love again. Do this for a few minutes. 

Every morning when we wake up we become aware that we are given breath again, as if we are being created anew day after day. We are invited to wake up to the Presence of God who has held us in love from before our birth, to wake up to ourselves, and in general to live more awake to life, breath after breath.

Iva Beranek
Dr Iva Beranek is the Ministry Facilitator for the CMH: Ireland

Christ is Risen, Alleluia!

Resurrection-icon

“God, give us eyes to see
the beauty of the Spring,
And to behold Your majesty
in every living thing –
And may we see in lacy leaves
and every budding flower
The Hand that rules the universe
with gentleness and power –
And may this Easter grandeur
that Spring lavishly imparts
Awaken faded flowers of faith
lying dormant in our hearts,
And give us ears to hear, dear God,
the Springtime song of birds
With messages more meaningful
than man’s often empty words
Telling harried human beings
who are lost in dark despair –
‘Be like us and do not worry
for God has you in His care.'”
(Helen Steiner Rice)

The Church’s Ministry of Healing: Ireland wishes you all a very Happy Easter! 

Restoring the broken

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I had a broken pot that I decided to repair. Actually, I broke it myself during a talk I was giving in order to illustrate our brokenness. Sometimes life breaks us, either through our own unwise choices, but most of the time through things that happen to us over which we have no control. At some point in this life we will realise that we, too, need healing. 

I looked at the pot and thought, “You were too beautiful for breaking”. I think Jesus would tell us something similar, “You are too beautiful for breaking”. Jesus knows what we have been through and so He tells us, “I want to mend you. I formed you in your mother’s womb, you are mine”. 

I gathered the pieces of clay, whatever was left of the pot and brought them home. One evening I lit a candle in my room, put all the broken pieces on a cloth, turned on some praise music in order to create a prayerful atmosphere, and I started putting the broken pieces together. It took some effort, some pieces were easier to stick together than others. However, what I soon discovered was that as I found the exact piece that was broken off another piece, they fitted perfectly, even to the smallest detail. With enough patience, as I found which piece belonged where, the pot started to take shape again.

For us healing is a journey, there is no quick fix. However, in our brokenness, or rather through it, God’s light can shine due to His love and grace. If I was so concerned about mending this pot as best as I could, how much more is God concerned in helping us heal from our wounds. I did not even create this pot, I only bought it, which is a much smaller investment than creating something. God, on the other hand, created you and me, He invested much more. Well, He actually invested His very self to help us in every possible way – so I believe that He is much more concerned about making broken people whole, than I was about putting back together this beautiful pot.

 

Iva Beranek
Dr Iva Beranek is the Ministry Facilitator for the CMH: Ireland

Jesus was not born in a cozy place

crib

“In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.”
Luke 2:1-5

Jesus wasn’t born into a cosy, stable home environment. Mary was unexpectedly pregnant and not yet married to Joseph, and Jesus was born on the move and far from home. The family couldn’t even settle down following the birth, fleeing instead to Egypt to escape Herod. Jesus was born into confusion and turmoil.

Today, more than 50 million people around the world are internally displaced or living as refugees or asylum seekers. That’s 50 million people far from home this Christmas, many having fled from conflict, danger or abject poverty.

Imagine…

Your house used to be a home, but now it’s just a shelter. No comfort, no warmth. Although the memories remain. It’s nearly dark and there are no street lights. You can hear gunfire and bombs going off. Sometimes near, sometimes far. The ground shakes and the plaster crumbles from your ceilings.

How do you feel?

Things grow worse and the army arrives. They go through the streets, shouting at people to get out and get moving. You don’t want to go, but you don’t want to die either.

How do you feel?

You’re walking. Your mother is old, her arm is through yours to keep her from stumbling. There are people all around, all walking, on and on. You walk for days. There is hardly anything to eat. You’re so thin you hardly recognise yourself, and your body is so, so tired. You run out of land – there is water ahead, war behind.

How do you feel?

Everyone is clambering for a place on the boat. You don’t want to go, but you don’t want to die either…

For you, this was a fleeting and imaginary experience. For many, this is real life.

Rafi, aged seven, saw his little brother die in Syria. His mother told Tearfund: “He hasn’t been happy with himself since.  He has nightmares and tells me that he is scared during the day.”

Rafi and his family now live in Lebanon, one of the countries where Tearfund is helping refugees. While in Syria they lived under shelling, in Lebanon it is peaceful. Yet the whole family lives with a legacy of fear.  They are all, even the parents, frightened by loud noises like fireworks. Many are traumatised and need specialist help.  Most have no opportunity to earn money, because their work permissions are restricted, so they struggle to feed their families.  School places in host countries are limited because of the number of people arriving from Syria. 

Every minute, eight people leave everything behind to flee war, persecution or terror – A small number of them come to the West and make the news headlines. Tens of millions don’t.

 

The dark nights of Advent

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“Father in heaven,
the day draws near when the glory of your Son
will make radiant the night of the waiting world.”
Roman Missal

In the Northern hemisphere Advent corresponds with the season of Winter, when the days are short and the night is long. Advent reminds us that God comes to us in our darkest moments in order to bring His light. The dark nights of Advent reveal to us the light of Christ. Christ comes gently, without a rush, but He does come.

What is the area of your life where you long for Christ to visit you? Sometimes we may feel that certain parts of our life are in a season of awaiting, in Advent. Or we know other people who are in Advent of their lives. Often we associate waiting as something that is not pleasant, and yet when we wait for friends to visit us, or when we are hoping to see family or someone close to us after we haven’t seen them in a long time, the waiting is filled with joy and expectancy. It is an active waiting. Liturgically as we approach Christmas, the waiting takes this fragrance of joyful expectancy. 

In the next week, try and find a few quiet moments where you will let this external joyful reality of Christ’s coming feed your soul. The busyness of the season may make this a bit hard, but it is a worthwhile effort to pause in order to spend time in the presence of God. 

Do not hesitate to invite Jesus into the areas of your life that need Him the most, that long for His light. If there is something painful that you are dealing with, allow yourself to sit with it knowing that you are not alone; as if sitting in the middle of the night waiting for a new dawn. In a week’s time we will celebrate Christmas, which means that the hope that Christ brings is drawing near. And yet in many ways, same as when He was growing in Mary’s womb, He is already here. 

I pray that Christ, who is the true gift of the season, would bring you all the graces you need and that you would be willing to share them with those around you. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13). 

Amen.

Iva Beranek
Dr Iva Beranek is the Ministry Facilitator for the CMH: Ireland